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Bog Standard

Restroom comedy has always been the safe haven for daily publications, and we are always mindful to significant toilet tales and key events, particularly within football. What a delight it was to learn that a prominent writer a famous broadcaster has a West Brom-themed urinal at his home. Consider the situation for the Barnsley fan who understood the bathroom a little too literally, and was rescued from a deserted Oakwell post-napping in the lavatory midway through a 2015 losing match against Fleetwood Town. “He was barefoot and couldn't find his phone and his cap,” stated a representative from Barnsley fire services. And everyone remembers at the pinnacle of his career at Manchester City, Mario Balotelli entered a community college for toilet purposes during 2012. “His luxury car was stationed outside, before entering and requesting directions to the restrooms, subsequently he entered the faculty room,” a pupil informed the Manchester Evening News. “Later he simply strolled through the school like he owned the place.”

The Lavatory Departure

Tuesday marks 25 years from when Kevin Keegan quit from the England national team post a quick discussion inside a lavatory booth together with Football Association official David Davies in the bowels of Wembley, after the notorious 1-0 loss versus Germany during 2000 – the national team's concluding fixture at the historic stadium. As Davies remembers in his diary, his private Football Association notes, he entered the drenched struggling national team changing area directly following the fixture, only to find David Beckham in tears and Tony Adams energized, both of them pleading for the director to convince Keegan. Following Dietmar Hamann’s free-kick, Keegan walked slowly through the tunnel with a thousand-yard stare, and Davies found him slumped – just as he was at Anfield in 1996 – within the changing area's edge, muttering: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Stopping Keegan, Davies worked frantically to rescue the scenario.

“Where could we possibly locate for a private conversation?” remembered Davies. “The tunnel? Crawling with television reporters. The changing area? Crowded with emotional footballers. The bathing section? I couldn't conduct an important discussion with an England manager as players dived into the water. Just a single choice remained. The toilet cubicles. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history happened in the old toilets of a stadium facing demolition. The approaching dismantling was nearly palpable. Dragging Kevin into a cubicle, I secured the door behind us. We stayed there, eye to eye. ‘My decision is final,’ Kevin declared. ‘I'm gone. I'm not suitable. I’m going out to the press to tell them I’m not up to it. I can’t motivate the players. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Consequences

Therefore, Keegan stepped down, eventually revealing he viewed his stint as England manager “without spirit”. The two-time Ballon d’Or winner added: “I had difficulty passing the hours. I began working with the visually impaired team, the deaf squad, assisting the women's team. It's an extremely challenging position.” Football in England has advanced considerably during the last 25 years. Whether for good or bad, those stadium lavatories and those iconic towers are long gone, whereas a German currently occupies in the technical area Keegan previously used. Tuchel's team is considered among the frontrunners for the upcoming Geopolitics World Cup: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This exact remembrance from a low point in English football serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

Live Updates

Tune in with Luke McLaughlin at 8pm British Summer Time for Women's major tournament coverage regarding Arsenal versus Lyon.

Today's Statement

“We stood there in a lengthy line, wearing only our undergarments. We represented Europe's top officials, premier athletes, inspirations, mature people, mothers and fathers, resilient characters with great integrity … but no one said anything. We scarcely made eye contact, our looks wavered slightly nervously when we were requested to advance in couples. There Collina inspected us completely with an ice-cold gaze. Quiet and watchful” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson shares the degrading procedures officials were once put through by ex-Uefa refereeing chief Pierluigi Collina.

Soccer Mailbag

“What does a name matter? A Dr Seuss verse exists called ‘Too Many Daves’. Have Blackpool suffered from Too Many Steves? Steve Bruce, along with aides Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been removed from their positions. So is that the end of the club’s Steve obsession? Not quite! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie remain to take care of the first team. Full Steve ahead!” – John Myles.

“Now that you've relaxed spending restrictions and distributed some merchandise, I've chosen to type and make a pithy comment. Postecoglou mentions he initiated altercations in the school playground with kids he expected would overpower him. This self-punishing inclination must explain his decision to join Nottingham Forest. As a lifelong Spurs supporter I'll continue appreciating the subsequent season award yet the only follow-up season honor I predict him achieving along the Trent, should he survive that period, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|